Cute Tumblr Themes

Michaela / 21 / London.
Disnerd, Potterhead, LOTR geek and lover of games and cartoons.

All posts containing sex, NSFW, smoking, swearing and food will be tagged with those words during Ramadan out of respect for those who are observing it.

owldude:

lacunamatata:

yes-butno:

HAM! CHEESE! mmmmmmmmMANGOES

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this is the single most intense video i’ve ever witnessed

tehjai:

steel-plated-hearts:

a kid at hogwarts who just wants to get a proper education but can’t focus because of all of the shit harry potter and his friends keep getting themselves into

Jenna B. Lacey, age eleven, knew exactly what she was going to do with her life.

She was going to go to Hogwarts, get top grades, and be the youngest female Minister of Magic by age 35.

It would have been a good plan, if she hadn’t been in the same year as Harry Potter.

*   *   *   

Year one started out great. She was sorted into Hufflepuff, did well in all her classes, and aced the exams.

A troll smashed its way through the study room she was in on Halloween, but that wasn’t going to deter her. 

*   *   *   

Year two was a disaster. People were getting petrified, and worse—the teachers had to herd them from place to place, which severely cut down on her library time. She had to study in the common room, which meant instead of a nice, quiet atmosphere, she got a soundtrack of nervous Hufflepuffs.

And on top of that, exams were cancelled. It was a disaster.

*   *   *   

Third year, she started to notice a trend.

First the troll, than the petrifications, and now dementor guards and escaped convicts. What did they all have in common? Potter.

After Black broke in and everyone had to spend the night in the Great Hall, interrupting Jenna’s last minute studying for a test the next day, she took to giving Potter angry looks in every class.

He did not notice.

*   *   *   

They announced the Triwizard tournament at dinner the first night of fourth year, and Jenna almost started crying.

Potter was going to take this one over. She just knew it.

And she was right.

Voldemort rose at the end of the year. She honestly didn’t know what she had expected.

*   *   *    

Fifth year brought Umbridge. She joined the DA because she was going to need a better background in defense, but that didn’t mean she was any happier about Potter.

She imagined it was him she was hexing instead of Zachariah Smith.

But, by the end of the year, focus on her studies was impossible. After Dumbledore left, it was complete anarchy.

Potter’s fault. Of course.

*   *   *   

Sixth year she started volunteering in the hospital wing. She needed a backup plan in case Potter fucked it up.

All seemed quiet, until they brought Malfoy in. It was apparently Potter’s fault, which surprised everyone except Jenna.

Later, she was peacefully studying in a little nook on the third floor when some Death Eaters and some other adults started dueling right under her nose.

This was the worst fucking school, honestly.

*   *   *   

They were calling it “The Final Battle.”

Jenna ran through the hall, dodging in and out of the children evacuating, until she saw him. 

“POTTER.”

He turned, startled. “Um—Jenna, right? We’re sort of busy—”

She grabbed the front of his shirt and hauled him up until he was eye level with her. “If I’m not Minister of Magic by age 35, it is going to be entirely your fault and I’m going to hurt you.”

She dropped him and stormed away, leaving him to whatever he was doing. She had to fight this goddamn war so she could go back to her fucking studying.

*   *   *   

She became Minister of Magic at age 36.

Fucking Potter.

I think I just found the best Harry Potter fanfic

dapperfucker:

best of “she wears short skirts”

smilelikelightning:

yourscientistfriend:

textiles:

I may have taught this spider to knit. I was finishing the last 20 rows at the park, when this little spider wandered over to me, It climbed up my knitting bag, and walked all up and down the piece, then climbed onto my hand and watched me for a couple rows. After the second row it started waving it’s front four legs as if to get my attention. Once I was looking at it, it started pulling silk from its spinneret, and fiddling with it. I don’t know if it was knitting or purling as it was quite small scale, but every few seconds it would stop and look up at me to see if I was still watching. After a little bit I moved it to one of the vines overhanging the archway I was sitting in, and it went about its business.This wasn’t the only unusual thing that happened at the park today, but it was the most unusual.

Maybe it thought you were a spider

I’m gonna level with you that’s the fucking cutest shit I have ever fucking heard of okay I want a little spider that knits not sits menacingly above my bed at night threatening to fall into my mouth.

smilelikelightning:

yourscientistfriend:

textiles:

I may have taught this spider to knit. 
I was finishing the last 20 rows at the park, when this little spider wandered over to me, It climbed up my knitting bag, and walked all up and down the piece, then climbed onto my hand and watched me for a couple rows. 
After the second row it started waving it’s front four legs as if to get my attention. Once I was looking at it, it started pulling silk from its spinneret, and fiddling with it. I don’t know if it was knitting or purling as it was quite small scale, but every few seconds it would stop and look up at me to see if I was still watching. After a little bit I moved it to one of the vines overhanging the archway I was sitting in, and it went about its business.
This wasn’t the only unusual thing that happened at the park today, but it was the most unusual.

Maybe it thought you were a spider

I’m gonna level with you that’s the fucking cutest shit I have ever fucking heard of okay I want a little spider that knits not sits menacingly above my bed at night threatening to fall into my mouth.

floofisfloofy:

thorinthesassmaster:

So today I reached a very huge and kind of unbelievable follower milestone and to celebrate that as well as the release of The Battle of the Five Armies I have decided that it is high time that I do a give away to show you guys how much I love and appreciate you all! I’ve been wanting to do this for the longest time and now I finally have enough money saved up to make this a gooden!

What You Get:

  • Lord of the Rings Extended DVD’s
  • Bag End Door Necklace
  • Hobbit Mole Skin Diary
  • Letter Opener of Your Choice
  • Your Very Own One Ring
  • The Map of Thorin Oakenshield
  • Hobbit Plush of your Choice
  • Copies of Lord of the Rings and the Hobbit Novels
  • Collectors Edition The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey Extended Edition with Bilbo and Gollum Statue!

A few standard rules will apply of course just to keep this as fair as possible!

  1. Seeing as this is a follower giveaway, you must be following me :D
  2. Likes will not count! Reblog as much as you want, just don’t spam your poor followers! ;D
  3. No giveaway blogs!
  4. You must be comfortable to give me your address, for obvious reasons.
  5. The winner will be picked completely at random and will have 24 hours to respond before I choose another via a random number generator.

This will stay open until December 1st 2014 and the winner will be contacted December 2nd. Good luck and have fun my pretties!

EDIT: I’m happy to ship anywhere in the world so no worries guys! Enjoy and happy entering! <3

Eeee. <3

hatos:

fronk-jaeger:

heard u talkin shit like i wouldnt find out

hatos:

fronk-jaeger:

heard u talkin shit like i wouldnt find out

image

femmadilemma:

just watch it

14 hours ago1,386,317 plays
philisntonfire:

lalaalexa:

philisntonfire:

I am confused and also scared

baby steps

friCK

philisntonfire:

lalaalexa:

philisntonfire:

I am confused and also scared

baby steps

friCK

i-teleportedbread:

kazuhira-the-dongler:

ryden-gg:

With modifications becoming more commonplace every year, it’s not surprising to see that many people know next to nothing about modifications, but still choose to get them with only the information that everyone knows. So here are some things that you probably didn’t know about modifications. (Like tattoos, piercings, and stretched lobes.)
You cannot get a tattoo when you’re drunk. This is because alcohol causes the blood to thin. When a tattoo gun touches your skin, it creates little cuts. Getting a tattoo while drunk can cause you to lose a lot of blood. Not to mention the fact that it might mess with the quality of the tattoo.
Some inks will react differently to your skin. For example, many people are allergic to red ink. This can cause a rash, which also might mess up the quality of your tattoo. Additionally, yellow ink fades really easily.
Acrylic is a big no no in all piercings. This includes stretched lobes. Acrylic is a bad material to use because it is porous. This means that it’s more likely to carry bacteria, which can really mess up your piercing and make you sick. Additionally, do NOT buy plugs that are made out of polymer clay. This is also extremely porous and can royally jack up your ears. Some good materials are Surgical Steel, Stone, and Glass.
TAPERS ARE NOT JEWELRY. Tapers are a stretching instrument that looks a bit like a cone. While these can be used up to a 2g, some piercers suggest avoiding them completely. Tapers should never be worn for more than a few minutes. This is because they weigh unevenly on your lobes, which can cause a bad stretch, tearing, and blowouts. Alternatively, bondage tape (which you can get at any Spencers) can be used to properly stretch your lobes.
Piercing guns are bad news! They’re completely unsterile, and they can cause serious tissue trauma. A piercing gun basically forces a blunt piece of jewelry through the skin. This causes the skin to rip open to make room for the jewelry. Then it places the jewelry snugly against the skin, giving no room for the piercing to breathe. An actual needle piercing, done by a professional, is much safer and MUCH less painful.
Tattoos are much more sensitive than you think, and they take a lot longer to heal than what people may tell you. First of all, while the pain can go away after a week or two, the tattoo will not be fully healed for at least two months. While healing, you have to keep the tattoo as safe and clean as possible. That means no baths, no tanning, no swimming, etc. You also must lotion it often (don’t over-saturate it) and wash it three times a day. Think of it as any other open wound. You wouldn’t let it get dirty, would you?
Everyone has a different pain tolerance. Asking your friend how much their tattoo or piercing hurt won’t be accurate to you, since you might have a higher or lower pain threshold.
Stretching your lobes is absolutely NOT supposed to be painful. At most, you’re supposed to feel a little pressure, but that’s it. When done right, it is painless. For some reason, people seem to keep saying that stretching is like getting a piercing over and over again, but that is completely untrue. Stretching is literally just that, the stretching of the skin. Additionally, you MUST wait between stretches. You need to give your skin time to relax into the stretch and regain elasticity.
I think this about wraps it up. I hope this was informative. I welcome (correct) additions to this post.
PHOTO SOURCE

,

VERY IMPORTANT

i-teleportedbread:

kazuhira-the-dongler:

ryden-gg:

With modifications becoming more commonplace every year, it’s not surprising to see that many people know next to nothing about modifications, but still choose to get them with only the information that everyone knows. So here are some things that you probably didn’t know about modifications. (Like tattoos, piercings, and stretched lobes.)

You cannot get a tattoo when you’re drunk. This is because alcohol causes the blood to thin. When a tattoo gun touches your skin, it creates little cuts. Getting a tattoo while drunk can cause you to lose a lot of blood. Not to mention the fact that it might mess with the quality of the tattoo.

Some inks will react differently to your skin. For example, many people are allergic to red ink. This can cause a rash, which also might mess up the quality of your tattoo. Additionally, yellow ink fades really easily.

Acrylic is a big no no in all piercings. This includes stretched lobes. Acrylic is a bad material to use because it is porous. This means that it’s more likely to carry bacteria, which can really mess up your piercing and make you sick. Additionally, do NOT buy plugs that are made out of polymer clay. This is also extremely porous and can royally jack up your ears. Some good materials are Surgical Steel, Stone, and Glass.

TAPERS ARE NOT JEWELRY. Tapers are a stretching instrument that looks a bit like a cone. While these can be used up to a 2g, some piercers suggest avoiding them completely. Tapers should never be worn for more than a few minutes. This is because they weigh unevenly on your lobes, which can cause a bad stretch, tearing, and blowouts. Alternatively, bondage tape (which you can get at any Spencers) can be used to properly stretch your lobes.

Piercing guns are bad news! They’re completely unsterile, and they can cause serious tissue trauma. A piercing gun basically forces a blunt piece of jewelry through the skin. This causes the skin to rip open to make room for the jewelry. Then it places the jewelry snugly against the skin, giving no room for the piercing to breathe. An actual needle piercing, done by a professional, is much safer and MUCH less painful.

Tattoos are much more sensitive than you think, and they take a lot longer to heal than what people may tell you. First of all, while the pain can go away after a week or two, the tattoo will not be fully healed for at least two months. While healing, you have to keep the tattoo as safe and clean as possible. That means no baths, no tanning, no swimming, etc. You also must lotion it often (don’t over-saturate it) and wash it three times a day. Think of it as any other open wound. You wouldn’t let it get dirty, would you?

Everyone has a different pain tolerance. Asking your friend how much their tattoo or piercing hurt won’t be accurate to you, since you might have a higher or lower pain threshold.

Stretching your lobes is absolutely NOT supposed to be painful. At most, you’re supposed to feel a little pressure, but that’s it. When done right, it is painless. For some reason, people seem to keep saying that stretching is like getting a piercing over and over again, but that is completely untrue. Stretching is literally just that, the stretching of the skin. Additionally, you MUST wait between stretches. You need to give your skin time to relax into the stretch and regain elasticity.

I think this about wraps it up. I hope this was informative. I welcome (correct) additions to this post.

PHOTO SOURCE

,

VERY IMPORTANT

defyingstandard:

whododatlikedat:

"But yeah, me and Danielle, I feel like she’s gonna be my friend for life." (x)

The beauty in this picture is overwhelming

defyingstandard:

whododatlikedat:

"But yeah, me and Danielle, I feel like she’s gonna be my friend for life." (x)

The beauty in this picture is overwhelming

psychoticqueenofsarcasm:

thepathtowonderland:

wiggitawiggitawack:

seaworlcl:

what if bees sang songs when they flew by your ears

[tiny bee whisper/sings] ah ah ah ah stayin alive

im a boss ass bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch 

black and yellow black and yellow

pheylan13:

trumpetangst:

these are GORGEOUS omg

I NEED the ukulele!